Sinking into Samhain

Into the Cauldron; Sickness as the Underworld

Suddenly, I'm sicker than usual.

Without going into too much detail, my digestive system has stopped working. I'm severely dehydrated, in enough pain that I cant walk upright, and am looking at one invasive procedure after another.

My doctor has told me, in no uncertain terms, that I need to stop.

Stop pretending I'm okay, stop being the emotional support system for my family, stop taking on work projects, stop pressuring myself to be productive.

It's hibernation time. My body is trying to shut down, my nervous system is frazzled.

It's perhaps not a coincidence that I've been feeling so spiritually dry lately. My sense of connection gone, my interest in mythology feels like no more than an academic exercise, my rituals feel like LARPing.

Perhaps something else is calling, but I can't hear it yet.

I need to go real quiet.

So, perhaps out of a need to feel less wildly out of control, I'm trying to weave this time in my life into my own circling through the Wheel.

Il be going quiet this Samhain, this Winter. No social media, no writing except in my personal journal, no keeping up with the news, no podcasts - this may piss my publisher off because ‘Aine’ drops this November, but it's a choice that needs to be made, before it gets made for me. No family gatherings where I'm expected to act as mediator, no expectations, no pressure.

I hope to emerge with the Spring, but there's no pressure. It has to happen naturally.

I hope my subscribers can hang with me through this, and be patient for updates. This little corner of the internet means a lot to me, and I very much appreciate you all.

Blessed be x